Balance

Going through my notes of the daily drama that played out just about every day there were many like this "Last knight was rough, his forehead already with a large bump from his constant head banging , now his right temple are swollen almost looking like a deformity. I heard what i thought was someone hammering a nail into wood and it sounded like it was in the back yard.  BAM BAM BAM  over and over .....finally as i looked out the kitchen window. There was Dalton on the deck , gripping the hand rail with both hands leaning back with full force like he was trying to break the board with his forehead.  BAM !BAM! BAM! ....I ran out the back door to try and stop him .  The redness of his skim almost ready to bleed , His look of terror so intense , the screaming ....Me yelling his name, anything to get him to stop.  But it just continued , very difficult to watch as my stomach just started knotting up.  All i could do was wrap him up in my arms as he fought me with every ounce of energy he had trying his hardest to get what ever it is that is hurting him  out of his head.  That's all I can think off that would cause anyone to do this to them self . This time was one of the worst  , usually I can tell him to do deep breaths and that will calm him down but this was not working.....so i picked him up took him to his room.   Him fighting the whole way , My neighbors must think I  am abusive, but its all I can do  just to get him in his room where i turn off the lights and sit with him till its over....."  yes there are page after page of things just like this ,  But then every now and then there are some relay fun ones too....and don't get me wrong , autism sucks!!!! it sucks big time and its different for everyone.   There are some days where there is no screaming there are only laughs or just quiet.   During the summer months when  all the other children are out of school enjoying the hot weather at the pool waking up at noon , Dalton and children like him go year round , he has been doing that since he was 2 and half.  Only taking 1 week off for summer break except one summer where they thought he was doing so well two weeks would worth a try....Here is the list I wrote  and remember this is only in two weeks.
1.Last day of school as the little short bus pulls in front of the house , I see the door open and like a rocket his little back pack shoots out and lands in the drive way.  He takes two steps down to the curb and grabs the door as the bus driver his trying her hardest not to let Dalton get hurt by slamming the door she final puts her hands in the air and lets him have control and slam the door.  I'm just standing there shrugging my shoulders to her with my palms up as if to say ....I know  i know ,,  as he turns around to walk away...I see he has this little smurk of delight , walked right over to his back pack picked it up and went inside.  It was all I could do not to let the bus driver see me laughing.
2. Tattoo
3. Shaved head
4. Peeing off banister in house
5. Pushed kid off bike
6. Lighting fireworks off in house
7. Got lost at friends farm
8. Boating , jumped off boat and started swimming away
9. Fishing from the shore at raintree , got naked and started chasing biker
10. Key in light socket
11. Jumping on trampoline in lightning storm
12. Got hit by car on stolen bike